Trust, Honest Communication and Intimacy are the foundation of all successful and satisfying relationships.
Love is like a garden. It will not grow without a commitment by both partners to feed, nurture, and protect it. You wouldn't expect a beautiful garden to flourish without plenty of sunshine, clean water, tending the soil (which includes pulling out the weeds), and ridding it of all creatures that might harm it (gophers, etc). Neither can your relationship grow and bloom without commitment to communication, resolving conflict, and keeping romance alive.
Laura LaPointe, LMFT
Couples Therapy is a way to reunite with your partner for life, whether you are 18-80.
The two of you may have started off with a wonderful romance or a strong, steady friendship that grew in intimacy. You may have felt you met your soul mate and best friend. Now, you may look around and ask yourself, "What happened to us? We don't even seem like the same people." Sound familiar? If you and your partner are willing to work on your trust, communication and conflict styles, it doesn't have to stay that way.
Let's look at reality. It's a hard world out there and our relationships should be our sanctuaries, the places where we relax and let our guard down. We all want a place where we allow our partner to know and love the real person behind the masks we wear. We may feel that masks are required of us by our jobs, social status, and family expectations. It can be very confusing for people when the relationship that once filled their hearts with feelings of security and joy has become a war zone . When our relationships are good, they can bring us the greatest joy in our lives, and when they are bad, they can bring us the most pain. Give your relationship the advantage of learning to be genuinely who you are and accepting your partner for who they are.
Learn to give yourself and your partner the respect and trust that you both long for and deserve. If you are willing to be honest and do your part to change the way you communicate and behave, you will be taking the first step to gaining a more satisfying relationship. The second step will need to be your partner's. He or she will need to be willing to be honest and change the way he/she communicates and behaves in order to help the relationship heal as well.
Some clients asked me, "What if my partner won't come to therapy, should I come by myself?" And the answer is, "Yes." Therapy can be a place of growth and healing for you as you commit to examining how you communicate and behave in relationhsips.This understanding will give you choices for how to communicate and behave in the future to be a healthier partner, even if your significant other won't come to therapy.
See my Individual Therapy Page for more details or call me at (626) 466-7616.
To see if couples/relationship therapy is right for you, call me at
Laura LaPointe, LMFT at (626) 466-7616 today.